The Christmas Top 10, in the UK at least, used to be a fun cobbling-together of novelty seasonal songs, re-releases of novelty seasonal songs, and Cliff Richard records; the Christmas Number One slot was genuinely coveted, in a slightly camp way.
Now, since Simon Cowell became the pantomime mogul-dame of music-reality TV, his endless string of recent-wannabes have filled this spot each year with one drab song after another. But now the Internets are fighting back, with an organised campaign to get Rage Against The Machine‘s Killing In The Name Of to the top this year instead.
Wait – is this some sort of obscure joke? Is this Post-Post-Irony? Telling people to buy a song that has “Fuck you, I won’t do what you tell me” as its most memorable line is the pop equivalent of a snake eating its own tail.
Just think of all the money that will be wasted on an internet meme that could be nudged towards new bands instead – bands like King Kayak, who would welcome the cash a lot more readily than Zack de la Rocha.
Thinking about it, King Kayak are well placed most to make a tilt for the Christmas #1 slot – they make breezy songs, benevolently spreading cheer and fun. If they added a few jingling bells and a children’s choir to John, maybe they could do it. It’s bright, carefree and has a pop hook that would mobilise the most reluctant of office party dancefloors.
King Kayak – John
Imagine if it happened. King Kayak, number one. A band succeeding from nowhere with a great song, an amazing story and bundles of talent. You could make a primetime reality TV show out of that.
Photo courtesy of Salford Advertiser