***GLIB COMPARISON WEEK CONTINUES BELOW, FACILE-FANS**

So again, after reeling from the glut of greatness in today's previous post, which rounds up the best bands this month on ANBAD, we again take a delve back into our pockets to see what new great bands lurk within. (And to make that mangled mixed-metaphor-analogy work, try imagining we're wearing big clown trousers, filled with every band in the world. I think I'm digging myself further in a hole here.) And today's New Band is yet another nail in the Johnny Halliday-shaped coffin for people who think that French music stinks.

It's been a bumper year for French music however you look at it - and I prefer to look mainly at Sebastian Tellier's brilliant entry to this year's Eurovision Song Contest, a song that shouldn't have only won, but was so universally wonderful that it should have been put into those birthday cards that play a song when they're opened. So, yes, today's New Band is French, and are called The Whiffs - a name which virtually guaranteed them a place on A New Band A Day the moment the words hit my retina.

The Whiffs write songs which are slight, gentle and snappy, and whilst they stick with the tried-and-tested format of guitars 'n' drums, there's a lovely Gallic, non-mainstream influence seeping through the verses. Conned in Adelade is catchy, simple and the sound of two people having fun. Fun is a quality all too sadly missing in a lot of music, and choose to follow the ironic 'FUN' (Hi, The Tings Tings) or determinedly sullen (Hi, every band wearing purple and black stripy cut-off socks on their arms) route instead. Let's face it, if you're called The Whiffs, you can't take yourself too seriously. Listen to their tunes here, and forget your troubles.

TODAY'S GLIB BAND-COMPARISON: Like if someone had stolen the early Dandy Warhol's fuzzboxes, Valium and skinny T-Shirts and enrolled them on a Cognitive Behavioural Therapy Happiness Programme.

Labels: French, Glib comparisons week, simple sounds

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That's right folks, this week's borderline-awful ROADTRIP! gimmick is drawing to a close. And yet, for all its conceptual craptitude, we've dug up a lot of ace bands so far on our virtually-drunken, imaginarily-debauched trundle around Northern Europe. Sweden's Envelopes, Norway's Hiawata! and Poland's MR BEEP have provided us with a ADHD-fat-kid-in-an-ice-cream-parlour sample of Upper-Euro music, and brilliant it all has been too.

Thus, before we head back to Cyber-Calais (Yes, this is getting tedious now), for the ferry, we've stopped in France for one final hurrah, and look who's Today's New Band - it's Facteur! Now, as the observant of you ANBAD readers will readily acknowledge, if there's one thing we hate to regularly do, it's to recycle old musings and pass them off as new. So, without further ado - just what is it that makes French dance music so awesome? We may never know - it's certainly not the legacy of Johnny Hallyday - but Facteur aren't concerned, and certainly aren't hanging around to find out, as they're too busy thrashing wildly around the room, losing themselves in their ridiculously thumping songs.

Pick any of the songs - any - on their Myspace page, and you'll be yearning for the dancefloor instantly. If you can't imagine yourself going chicken oriental in a nightclub to their frighteningly CHOON-tatsic remix of Asshole by Giko, you may have exhausted your brain's supply of serotonin, in which case, call a priest and wait calmly for death. It's Friday night. Go nuts and dance in your bedroom to his brilliant tunes, and worry about how daft you look afterwards. You deserve it.

Labels: CHOOOON, French, stupidly bangin'

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Soft is bad right?

• Soft rock - Poodle haired, tight-spandex-trousered nonsense
  
• Soft drinks - Pale in comparison to alcoholic ones: there's a Roman God for wine, but not for Sunny Delight
  
• 'Soft Skills' - Management Bullshit for 'being able to talk to people and be nice'
• Soft Mints - Specifically designed to remove fillings

Well, Jackson and His Computer Band, today's new band, make music that sounds... soft. But in a great way.

Electronic music, almost by definition , sounds metronomic, precise and clear. The music of Jackson and his Computer Band does share some of these traits, it's true. But a little bit like how Boards of Canada make warm and organic electronic music - J.A.H.C.B. makes dance music that sounds analogue - all warm and clicky - as if it was made by some crazed human-computer hybrid that was designed in the 70's, rediscovered yesterday and told to make music for tomorrow. Visit his Myspace page and listen to Teen Beat Ocean - it's great.

Oh, and he's French and is living in Germany, and so yes, it does sound a bit like Daft Punk crossed with Kraftwerk.

Labels: French, German, human-computer hybrid

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What is it about French dance music that makes it so distinctive? No-one does 'funky' in dance music like the French - perhaps it's all the fine food, fine wine and fine weather they have there. It's hard to imagine a band as sullen as Joy Division emerging from a country where you can visit the Loire Valley for a smashing sunshine top-up. On the other hand, when you hear the songs that today's new band Teenage Bad Girl make, it's easy to understand that they haven't felt the crushing despair of living in Macclesfield like Ian Curtis. They just want to Have A Good Time All The Time.

Listen to virtually any 'bangin' tune' on their Myspace page www.myspace.com/teenagebadgirl and it's hard to do anything other than form a 'T' shape with your arms and shamefully scream"CHOOOON!". Like all the great French dance music, it's got all the elements of crappy 70's funk music and made it awesome.

So it might sound like other French music. So what? French dance is so far ahead in terms of fun than most attempts at electronic music, it's silly.

---Don't forget, ANBAD is running a reduced service this week, due to being on holiday and eating a lot of dried cod in Portugal. Full service as per usual next week---

Labels: CHOOOON, French, Super Funky

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