Having just experienced my first Superbowl, I can exclusively confirm exactly three important facts about the performer of this year’s half-time show, the weirdly pillow-faced Madonna.

Firstly, her music still leaves me as cold as a polar bear’s lollipop: a career that no amount of tedious forced controversy can redeem.

Secondly, her composition is now 70% sinew, 20% gristle and a remarkable 10% human; and thirdly, when your biggest gig in years is upstaged by not only a bored-looking MIA but also a man bouncing up and down on a rope, it might be time to consider finally giving up.

Subburbia have yet to be upstaged by a circus performer, but surely it’s only a matter of time (and, in all honesty, I feel that this is reasonably true for most of the human race).

Apparently Subburbia are annoyed that the Brazilian press keep comapring them to CSS, which is understandable, as they sound virtually nothing like Lovefoxx and co.

You’re Not Getting Younger is one of those songs that I spend too long flip-flopping over: do I really like it, or just, you know, a bit? In the place of a firm decision, it has ended up on ANBAD, and in an almighty cop-out, you are now invited to be the judge.

What’s unavoidable is that Subburbia‘s knack of throwing a hefty quasi-metal choruses into twinkly, buzzy pop songs is a crafty trick – one which some will find jarring (possibly me) and others will see as an arresting musical punch (also possibly me), and the fact that I’m agonising over their merit at all is almost certainly a good sign.

MORE: soundcloud.com/subburbia