By now, even I suspect that I simply add bands to the ANBAD ‘to do’ list based on the ludicrousness of their names.

There is, of course, an element of truth in all half-believable conspiracy theories, but really, while Dream Sick have a name that is stratospherically brilliant, it was their music, hidden behind a nameless link, that caught my attention.

That is rare enough, and the appropriate kudos should be sprinkled on them. But to do it with the visceral brilliance of the name Dream Sick shoved casually up their sleeves? Pride should be swelling their egos to Zeppelin …

Where now for bass music and dubstep, post-Skrillex’s industry-crow-barring/acceptance into the mainstream?

While the heady gloop and rumble of bass music has been busy soundtracking almost everything of (self) importance recently, those producing it have scrabbled around looking for its next logical progression.

And it turns out that the (il-)logical progression is a return to UK Garage, whose resurgence is as baffling as it is ludicrous.

This, what for the brave souls who continue to make the music that brought about such unforseen U-turns? It transpires that, if they’re anything like Madeaux, they’re still making enormous, slightly jazzy, …

Whilst I am as tired as you are of hearing dull people claim that there is ‘no good music at the moment’, sometimes, in moments of weakness, I wonder if what they really mean – ‘there are no new good and easily-accessible guitar rock bands at the moment‘ – might have a kernel of truth.

What if all guitar rock music as we know it has been done? What if there’s no innovation left to unearth, and the Sonic Youths of this world have exhausted it?

What if the White Stripes were actually guitar rock’s last, glorious …

The more one accepts one’s role as ‘bemused bystander’ in the ludicrous carnival that is life, the more simple it becomes to spot the kind of intricate patterns and crazy coincidences that form our world.

Thus, when news arrives of Adele getting cut short at her moment of industry-determined glory at the Brit Awards, who else would be behind such a scheme, other than ANBAD’s favourite shameless ASDA-cheese-mongering, Sun-journalist Alex-James-From-Blur?

For once ANBAD doesn’t know who to feel more Schadenfreude towards.

These are troubling times.

MIXTAPE!

FIRST! Could Goodnight And I Wish’s England’s Never Looked So Good be any more …

Ultra low-fi rock music is usually indicative of one of two creative starting points.

To wit: 1) The Pavement Scenario – a studied, deliberately nuanced tool utilised to convey a particular feeling within a narrowly-defined set of parameters; or 2) The It Was Recorded On My Own In My Bedroom Scenario, where the song was recorded by a someone in their bedroom.

Clowns by Hazy Head is the latter. This also explains why no photographs of Hazy Head exist.

This is a song that could not exist in any other state other than the one in which it inhabits …

Far be it from me, a person who writes all around his subjects and also runs a blog condemning Bad Cover Versions, to complain about a record review, but something about this review of the new, mainly unwanted album from Britpop Also-Rans™ Cast makes me feel… sad.

If the record was so unworthy of even mentioning the content in the review, why waste your reader’s time writing about it? Who has gained from this transaction?

Sadly, only the author’s sense of self-worth does, whilst the website’s stats receive a (false) boost from rubber-neckers. And this is a situation where …

Jaded observers of the new band whirlwind – also to be heard described as a “shitstorm” by the most jaded of the jaded – will attest to the pressure of being right.

Now people look to music blogs for guidance in which new music is cool, the heat is truly on.

A music blogger is only ever one tip of, say, Viva Brother, away from obscurity.

If you get it wrong, the cool crowd desert you in droves. And the cool crowd, like it or not, make up a huge proportion of music blog readers. Yes, I’m …

As if to prove how we’re all idiots, the question is no longer “Hey, remember Myspace?”, but “Hey, remember how we were wrong about Myspace’s demise?”

The news that Myspace has added a million users in a month is a statistic to be taken with a pinch of salt (how many of those are people who have forgotten their old log-in details, I wonder?), but there’s no denying that Myspace is not the hell-hole it once was.

If, like me, you haven’t visited Myspace for a clear 12-month period, it’s worth logging in again, if only to see …

Valentine’s Day calls for one of two musical reactions: drippy accession to the whole thing by playing love songs all day, or by listening to something wholly inappropriate.

The latter seems to be harder to come by in the new music world – bands are now so eagle-eyed that every calendar date is an opportunity for a quickly dashed-off tie-in. The Valentines song! The Anti-valentines song! All readily available for easy embedding into your music blog!

I don’t believe The Fucked Up Beat created their song Paranoia especially for such an occasion as this. If they did, it was a …

Here’s a thing: everyone in the music industry, even those vaguely connected to it, simply loves music.

They’ll tell you this without waiting for you to ask – glance at the Facebook profile of any Music PR’s work experience assistant, and allow the proclamations wash over your dazzled eyes.

“I LOVE music,” it’ll say. “Music is my life,” it’ll babble on. “Life without music wouldn’t be worth living,” they hyperbolise.

This may all sound very grand and vital, but actually, it’s the equivalent of the dullards who write “I enjoy having fun” in the ‘Likes’ column of a dating …