It’s my birthday today, and I’m going to have to dream up a whole new excuse to explain away my age.

Though, as Einstein would tell you, having recently completed a trans-Atlantic flight, I am, in effect, slightly younger than I would have been if I’d stayed in the UK.

This may be a hard concept to fully grasp, so Blur’s Alex James demonstrates the molten fluidity of time in the only way he knows.

MIXTAPE:

FIRST! Le Parody is at pains to explain that her music is not a parody, it just looks that way because of the and name. And lo, it is thus: her music is a scintillating blend of thumping thuds, scratchy noises and Spanish singing. There’s nothing it could parody.

SECOND! I presume Shame Faced Sparrows were not named in reference to me (but they may as well have been, let’s face it). Bequiffed and howling, their crunchily basic rock is stripped to the bones – and rattles like them too.

THIRD! Mammal Club‘s Toward You With Lust is almost to epic to be true – I kept expecting Bonnie Tyler to belt out the chorus. And yet, here’s a song that builds and builds and then builds again, exciting us with every step.