On the ANBAD Twitter feed, I called for short reviews of Noel Gallagher’s debut single.

The breadth of results were sensational – from, ” It’s basically just ‘the importance of being idle’ mk II,” to, “Sounds like ‘The Importance Of Being Idle”.

Desperate to get to the bottom of the mystery, ANBAD assigned, as always, Lt. Drebin to the case.

MIXTAPE:

FIRST! The Mirror Trap have either managed to make a pop song sound bowel-clenchingly creepy, or made a creepy song a bit more colourfully pop-tastic. Whichever way is correct, Lavender Hands is a tiny bit of one and a tiny bit of the other, with a great big void in between. Excellently strange.

SECOND! Boffo Bear  The Modests are all under 16 years old, and so are guaranteed to make you start checking your temples for grey hairs. They make songs like Don’t Hold Back, which are exactly the kind of simple straight-up/straight-down pop songs all young men should make. Keep your eyes on them.

The Modests // Don’t Hold Back

THIRD! Cranium Pie are possibly named after that bit in Hannibal where Anthony Hopkins eats Ray Liotta’s brain. Or not. They do, however, produce trippy, calming, bizarro-nursery rhymes like Drying in The Sun which remind me of trippy, calm days on the beach in Wales. Sweetly retro-now.

FOURTH! With a name like All The King’s Blood, our last band should definitely be a speed-metal band, but they’re not – and we can probably be semi-grateful for such quirks. Flesh Sucker, however, is – get this – a hugely fun monster jerk-rock anthem, and for that, we can gratefully swing our long rock hair in time. POW!