Lordy. There’s been a lot of fuss this week over Super Injuctions, which are stopping us, the needy public, from finding out which minor celebrities have been having sex with each other.

But who is the mysterious twitter user who is breaching these legal injunctions? Who is illegally feeding us this vital gossip? ANBAD has managed to get our hands on a partly redacted, exclusive photograph.

MIXTAPE?

FIRST! Musket hail from the same vibrant Euro-hub as last year’s ANBAD band of the year, the excellent Youthless. Whatever it is that they put in the water in Lisbon (and from hazy recollections, it may well be the ginja), it seems to result in hi-tempo, bass-driven, angular power pop. A head-long rush into dizzy twang-rock.

SECOND! JoSu, however, is as far removed from such bouncy shenanigans as is humanly possible. A song like Elk may well stretch the concept of ‘song’ to or beyond its natural conclusion, such is the sonorously extruded nature of the music, consisting of mere washes of ringing noise, looping slowly. Devastatingly simple.

THIRD! Ghostly Dust Machine has an agonisingly appropriate name, such is the nature of his/their/it’s downtempo, sample-heavy, slo-mo hip hop. There’s a certain comfort-food quality to be found in these kinds of jazzy, breakbeat-laden songs, reminding us that there’s nothing better than simple songs performed well.

FOURTH! I don’t even want to know what Marco Mahler’s The Trees Have Fallen and The Birds Are Ripe actually means. It sounds vaguely apocalyptic, which, when accompanied by such delightfully sweet and restrained music, leaves me feeling uneasy at the very least. Still, songs as beautiful and sharp as this deserve to be savoured for a long time. Though maybe not until end times.

FINALLY! Mulato Pintado makes frankly bizarre music, apparently known as flipped hop, which – bearing in mind the usual uselessness of genre names – describes a song like Donnie Mansfield King of the Worker Bees precisely. Maybe you’ll initially fool yourself into thinking that this song is a strange mess. You’ll be wrong.