The tabloid press has been getting hot under the collar this week about Britney and Rhianna collaborating on a song about S&M called, er, S&M.

Two pop stars yapping about whips and chains seems fairly innocuous, but all the same, ANBAD send Lt. Drebin to investigate further to see how much damage this song was doing to ‘our kids’. He returned with some nice stay-pressed shirts and a three-pack of comfortable underpants.

The Midweek Mixtape should clear flustered minds:

FIRST! Parties used to be known as **EDIT A Band Whose Name Has Been Removed By Request** So what happens when you shed two thirds of your name? Well apparently, you emerge as a leaner, sharper, more focussed, poppier unit, and start to play songs as infectious and breathless as Say Something. Ace.

SECOND! I’m not sure who Spring Offensive are trying to offend, or how,  as songs such as A Stutter And A Start are unlikely to rile anyone except those mortally aggrieved by craftily assembled pop songs, polyrhythms and chipper tales of young love. Nice.

THIRD! Crown Aruba’s Like She Said is exactly the kind of reedy Indie pop that wins over the hearts and minds of the fey and wan, time after time. For good reason too – songs like this connect on the exact opposite level to that which a U2 song does, for example. And that’s a good thing.

FOURTH! Fortunately for Stuart Anthony, his Long Lost Band was found just in time to record Play The Part under their usual guise of Stuart Anthony and His Long Lost Band. Phew. The song is a beaut, all sweet swoops of sound and soft jangle. Perhaps he should keep a closer eye on his bandmates.

LAST! Water Signs’ These Weapons sounds a bit like the band lost half their instruments and decided to replace them with children’s toy instruments which were then tweaked in the studio to sound like the grown-up versions. Everything just sounds a bit… removed. Good stuff.