Jewellers, and How Not To Do An April Fool’s Gag

I had planned an ANBAD April Fool’s joke, I really had.

It was even going to be a moderately amusing and half-relevant one, too; two traits which are almost never found on ANBAD.

It was going to go like this: I’d have met a couple of members of Wu Lyf in a bar here in Manchester, quizzed them about their puzzlingly bad new video, and after plying them with drinks, left with a confession.

It would have turned out that the reason they’ve been so quiet for so long is that they had signed a record deal with a secret new Facebook iTunes-challenging label. (Mark Zuckerberg, it would turn out, found the ‘Lyf’s anonymity irresistibly at odds with his own practice.)

In the mean time, as his dictatorial terms meant that they could not release any songs until the label was officially announced, they had started listening to a lot of Simple Minds records, and were already planning their next album to be, “like, 100% topless synth world/jazz-funk music,” with Banksy signed up to produce.

Then I realised that this was no more, or no less, ludicrous than anything else written about, or done by, Wu Lyf and dropped the idea forthwith. You cannot satirise that beyond satire.

Oh, look, another 200 words about Wu Lyf before the new band even gets a look in. Shame, because Jewellers are really good, and songs like the throbbing, lilting and liquefied Tape are simply beautiful on their own merits.

Tape befuddles – direct in its broad simplicity, yet unpredictable in the organically ordered manner in which it is compiled.

For all I know, the song could have been made by instructing a computer to assemble a collage of sounds using the Fibonacci sequence – a state of affairs that is not entirely out of the question, but would make Jewellers the band equivalent of a Romanesco Broccoli.

Frustratingly, Jewellers are also yet another new band who provide no picture of themselves, making it harder for the public – or ticket-purchasers, as they are also known – to get a handle on them, and feel involved. But their lovely music will have to do, for now.


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