Another week, and another devastatingly catchy viral music video necessitates the short, sharp shock of a Midweek Mixtape to banish the unwanted earworm.

This week’s criminal record? Well, it turns out that if you take a video of an already creepy three-year-old beauty queen singing a song called Cutie Patootie, and then slow it down by 25%, it moves into ultra-weird territory.

Reverse it, and it becomes the terrifying David Lynch mini-movie that even he would hesitate over showing in public. Meanwhile, Lt. Drebin has been distracted by an album of Hammond organ classics, so we’re safe to proceed to the Mixtape:

FIRST! The Savage Nomads are a pretty good place to start if it is distraction you’re looking for. A Statement is, er, just that – and a bold one too. Gently fierce and hypnotic, a band with these febrile qualities are probably going to go a long way – so the hipsters amongst you might want to start liking them now, before everyone else does.

SECOND! TWR72 have the name of a 1950’s fighter plane and the sound of AWESOME TECHNO. Fukkk Off is a remix – and strictly speaking, ANBAD doesn’t do remixes – but this one is big, brash and as rude as you’d expect, so gets an enthusiastic free pass. Excellent.

THIRD! Clip Stamp Fold may well be named after a dull office chore. Certainly, the band sound like they don’t want to do that job any more, as their gloomy epic-rock is so widescreen that they’re clearly pitching for bigger things.

FOURTH! Danimal Kingdom are more upbeat than Cliff Richard on Zoloft. Through The Ice isn’t a sombre warning about the dangers of playing on frozen lakes, but is in fact a huge pop blast. Huzzah!