Well, everything except the music, obviously. Every single Beady Eye song is exactly the kind of plodding pub-rock you’d write if a gun was held to your head and were told that you had two minutes to write a three-minute rock song.
One of their songs is called Beatles and Stones. I mean, really. Perhaps, as Louis Barabbas of The Bedlam Six suggested, they ought to be called Lazy Eye.
Drebin looks as confused as I am by all of this, so before he gives the album a spin, get stuck into this Mixtape, sharpish:
FIRST! Jordan Bolton makes the kind of music that makes me feel directly connected to his cerebral cortex, because his sweetly building songs like Lull sound like they’re being recorded live in the next room. Winsome and warm. Good stuff.
SECOND! Left Step Band are impossible to dislike. How’s that for an opening line? Of course, it doesn’t mean you’ll like them, just not dislike them. But their songs are so bouncy, up-front and full of life that you’ll probably be won over pretty much instantly.
THIRD! A Clean Kitchen Is A Happy Kitchen are living, breathing lifestyle advice as much as they are deliberately obtuse noise-rock craftsmen. That said, try doing a little light cleaning to the sound of this happy racket:
FOURTH! Cornelia has managed to perform the rarest of tricks: making the radio-friendly pop song clearly designed to be sung by hyper 12-year old girls and yet is still quirky enough to entertain the more choosy types who would faint at the idea of humming along to Miley Cyrus. Smart.
FINALLY! Funnily enough, Raised By Tigers were actually brought up by an altruistic pride of lions. But that didn’t stop them from making clobbering, widescreen Indie songs, presumably whilst stalking zebras and gorging on raw meat.