ANBAD likes nothing more than to wallow in abject failure,. So these last two weeks watching the England team flop around like caught fish, hopeless, hapless and helpless, have been strangely enjoyable.

Moreover, watching England’s star striker have a hissy fit engaged emotions that teetered somewhere between deep sadness and sniggering. The ANBAD New Bands Donkey, perhaps a fitting animal to draw comparison with a player who apparently left his first touch back at Heathrow, has responded in kind.

Mixtape:

FIRST! The Good Gods may well have had their name yelled in exasperation many times when England misplaced yet another pass against Algeria. Clever viral marketing.

The Good Gods // Lying On Our Bright Red Backs

Why are their backs red? Are they England hoolies who have spent too many hours drinking in the baking sun, and are about to thrown their plastic chairs at police armed with water cannons? We may never know. But their songs are noisy, sharp and clever – as if we’re listening to the secret rock ‘n’ roll recordings of the uncool kids at school, unleashing their frustration with the world for the first time. Really good stuff.

SECOND! Personal Space Invaders have a name that made me do a little half-chuckle when I first heard it, and Lo, they were in the mixtape. It’s that easy. That their music, especially You’re Not My Boyfriend, sounds like the Boss level on one of the Metal Slug video games just seals the deal.

THIRD! Love In The Asylum, eh? Whatever gets your engine running, I suppose. I know Angelina Jolie has said in the past that she likes crazy sex, but I think even she would rule out having sex with mentally disturbed people. The band’s song Pull The Plug is a curious mix of jaunty jangle-pop and RAWK-vocals, and is therefore highly recommended as a curio, at the very least.

LAST! War Eagle Rising – how could you fail to love a band with a name like War Eagle Rising? It’s literally impossible. Their music is of the superior chugga-chugga type that Beavis and Butthead would love, and frankly, so do I. If you’re a man, and want to feel the electric buzz of your teenage years again, listen forthwith. If you’re a woman, and still can’t figure out why men are so mindless, listen too, and see if it becomes a bit clearer.

DONE!