As much as I’d like to be able to ignore it, the Brit Awards are an all-invasive part of British life right now, in spite of – or perhaps because of – their overwhelming, bone-china blandness.

The only honest way to react to a celebration of  such mundaneity is to produce yet another facile list, and so here’s the ANBAD Alternative Brit Awards 2010:

1. The Least Comprehensible Appearance Award: The Spice Girls
2. The most affable man who once wrote  songs called Suk My Dik and now makes great mass-market pop albums award: Dizzee Rascal
3. The “I just can’t believe this is happening to me” Faux-Sincerity Award: Three-way tie between Ellie “can you beleive how normal I am?” Goulding, Lady “Can you believe how abnormal I am?” Gaga and Florence “Have you noticed my legs recently?” Welch.
4. The ‘Was That Just John Bloody Lennon Appearing In A Citroen Advert?’ Award: That Citroen advert featuring John Bloody Lennon
5. The ‘Fine Line Between Appearing Rock ‘n’ Roll and Looking Like An Embarrassing Middle-Aged Idiot’ Award: Liam Gallagher (Inevitably)

The Brits are the UK’s version of the Grammys. Amusing fact: The Swedish version is called the Grammis. Excellent. My love for Sweden grows every day.

This love is not only due to their amusingly localised versions of major awards ceremonies, but also music like The Forest And The Trees, a Swedish band whose actually manage to evoke the sense of being surrounded by lush green woodland.

THE FOREST & THE TREES To The Forest! (I Need Some Peace) [Single Edit] by ILL FIT

By now, you know what to expect from a Scandinavian pop song: driving, delicate drums, honeyed melodies awash with bittersweet glee, and a strict pop song structure that brings back the chorus just when you want to hear it one more time.

To The Forest! (I Need Some Peace) doesn’t break with this ethic, and why should it when another dreamy summer pop hit is the result? Even in southern Sweden, when the snow falls, it stays, deep and heavy, for months. But with songs like this, summer is always just around the corner, tantalising, sunny and drenched in love. The lucky so-and-so’s.

www.myspace.com/forestandtreesmusic

Photo: Sara Arnald